Hubby told me over our family Saturday morning breakfast that he was playing golf tomorrow. He informed me that he’d be going out early and would be gone all morning. That he needed some “down-time” because he “hadn’t played golf in ages”.
My initial reaction to this news was to throw my spoon at him, swear a bit, and then notify him that I too don’t get any ‘down-time’ at all, (ever), and that he could therefore stick it.
Except before I jumped in with my response I quickly realised that I could actually be quite clever about this, and in fact, turn this into my favour.
“OK” I said, (to which he looked extremely perplexed and flummoxed about, and wondered where all the swearing was). “As long as I can go out on Sunday, shopping on my own, for 4 hours too” I reported. “Deal” he said. And we shook hands. And that was that.
Welcome to how Hubby and I ‘manage’ our relaxation time.
Because when you’re a parent – there is absolutely, totally, utterly and unquestionably NO MORE relaxation time in your life again. At all. Ever.
Say you decide to stay at home for the day to all chill out together, (perhaps because someone is ill, or it’s pis*ing it down outside), the kids just simply cannot sit still for long. They have other plans. Even if you put their DVD’s on, or their favorite programme, within 3 minutes you have children on your head or they’re running across the living room and leaping onto your stomach.
Or, if you try to watch something that you’ve been looking forward to viewing, then it’s “Mummy, Mum, Mummy, Mum, Maaaaaaaaam, Muuuuuummmmmmmyyyyyyy, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad”…until you flip out and take them to the park or something.
However don’t get me wrong – we’re not lazy people. Hubby and I take the twins out all the time and we thoroughly enjoy spending time together as a family. They go to some fantastic places and we get out of the house regularly. We have heaps of fun. But those moments where you just feel like a few hours ‘off’ and being lazy are impossible to do in the space of your own home. And so it’s easier, every now and again, to get our relaxation time away from the bedlam. Alone.
Which is really nice, and very refreshing when it happens. Unless you’re the parent left looking after them on your own. And then it isn’t in the slightest bit refreshing at all.
So that’s why we don’t do it very often. But when one announces that they are ‘off to do something nice’ the other sees red and instantly feels jealous and wants a bit of it too.
And of course we shouldn’t be so childish about this matter. We are adults; we should be grown up and act sensibly and responsibly, and just be happy that one of us is getting some time to do something that they enjoy.
…Except that we aren’t, and we can’t help but be competitive. And there’s absolutely no way we are letting the other one ‘get away’ with their time off unless there’s something in it for us too 😉