Parenting wars: the battle for some relaxation time

TEXTHubby told me over our family Saturday morning breakfast that he was playing golf tomorrow. He informed me that he’d be going out early and would be gone all morning. That he needed some “down-time” because he “hadn’t played golf in ages”.

My initial reaction to this news was to throw my spoon at him, swear a bit, and then notify him that I too don’t get any ‘down-time’ at all, (ever), and that he could therefore stick it.

Except before I jumped in with my response I quickly realised that I could actually be quite clever about this, and in fact, turn this into my favour.

“OK” I said, (to which he looked extremely perplexed and flummoxed about, and wondered where all the swearing was). “As long as I can go out on Sunday, shopping on my own, for 4 hours too” I reported. “Deal” he said. And we shook hands. And that was that.

Welcome to how Hubby and I ‘manage’ our relaxation time.

Because when you’re a parent – there is absolutely, totally, utterly and unquestionably NO MORE relaxation time in your life again. At all. Ever.

Say you decide to stay at home for the day to all chill out together, (perhaps because someone is ill, or it’s pis*ing it down outside), the kids just simply cannot sit still for long. They have other plans. Even if you put their DVD’s on, or their favorite programme, within 3 minutes you have children on your head or they’re running across the living room and leaping onto your stomach.

Or, if you try to watch something that you’ve been looking forward to viewing, then it’s “Mummy, Mum, Mummy, Mum, Maaaaaaaaam, Muuuuuummmmmmmyyyyyyy, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad”…until you flip out and take them to the park or something.

Zero rest.

However don’t get me wrong – we’re not lazy people. Hubby and I take the twins out all the time and we thoroughly enjoy spending time together as a family. They go to some fantastic places and we get out of the house regularly. We have heaps of fun. But those moments where you just feel like a few hours ‘off’ and being lazy are impossible to do in the space of your own home. And so it’s easier, every now and again, to get our relaxation time away from the bedlam. Alone.

Which is really nice, and very refreshing when it happens. Unless you’re the parent left looking after them on your own. And then it isn’t in the slightest bit refreshing at all.

So that’s why we don’t do it very often. But when one announces that they are ‘off to do something nice’ the other sees red and instantly feels jealous and wants a bit of it too.

And of course we shouldn’t be so childish about this matter. We are adults; we should be grown up and act sensibly and responsibly, and just be happy that one of us is getting some time to do something that they enjoy.

…Except that we aren’t, and we can’t help but be competitive. And there’s absolutely no way we are letting the other one ‘get away’ with their time off unless there’s something in it for us too 😉



  1. November 17, 2014 / 3:52 pm

    Ha ha. Matts off to rwnada in February again for a week, I think I’m due a week in the Maldives!

    • November 17, 2014 / 5:03 pm

      YES!!! Totally related to this! Little people on your head. When Matt says he needs ‘me time’ it’s so hard not to bit a little violent and throws things at him, Like you, it’s all about clocking up the points and banking the hours. Cue… spa weekend, Britmums WEEKEND, girly dates and dinners! Ha Ha! Genius post! LOVE! xxxxxx

      • Jess
        November 17, 2014 / 5:23 pm

        I think BLOGFEST was my first proper day off – ever!! Much more needed (i.e. roll on Britmums!!) xx

    • Jess
      November 17, 2014 / 5:23 pm

      You deserve it – and I deserve to come with you. Let’s book it!!!! 🙂 xx

    • Jess
      November 17, 2014 / 5:25 pm

      You deserve it – and I deserve to come with you. Let’s book it!!!! 🙂 xx

    • Jess
      November 17, 2014 / 5:24 pm

      Thanks!! I intend to drive as slowly as possible and then walk as slowly as I can around the shops!!! 🙂 xx

  2. Kathryn
    November 17, 2014 / 6:18 pm

    It’s great as they get bigger…. tactical scheduling has its benefits. Sometimes doing drop off / pick up / waiting during activities is a pain but every now and then though get a gem where you get a peaceful hour in comfortable surroundings to just chill with a book and a coffee. Bliss!

    • Jess
      November 17, 2014 / 7:25 pm

      I LOVE this!! Great idea. I will look forward to those moments, thoroughly!! 🙂 Jess xx

  3. November 17, 2014 / 6:52 pm

    That’s photo cracks me up! Good job on the swapping! I tend to sneak out a bit with the girls when the kids are in bed, even just to each other’s houses for a few wines is a massive treat! Xx

    • Jess
      November 17, 2014 / 7:25 pm

      Love the thought of you sneaking out for wine!! Jess xx

  4. November 17, 2014 / 8:17 pm

    Oh yes I can totally relate to this. So easy to get jealous and resentful when your partner announces they are having some ‘time out’. Good idea to turn it to your advantage and get some counter time out in though

    • Jess
      November 18, 2014 / 7:41 am

      Oh yes! That’s my new plan anyway!! thanks for the comment, Jess xx

  5. January 23, 2015 / 1:45 pm

    Oh my gosh I am so with you on this! My hubby has football every saturday, including after match drinks! So unfair :-p And children on your head – yes! What is that about?! Its so annoying lol.
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    • January 23, 2015 / 2:18 pm

      Well you need some time back then! And fast! 😉 Jess x

    • December 7, 2015 / 2:23 pm

      Ha ha thanks – I know, we are forever doing our deals! xx

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