Confidence is a funny thing, isn’t it? On the one hand, if you’re too confident, it can be perceived as arrogant (and non of us British folk like anyone like that). But if you haven’t got a lot of confidence then every one and their dog seems to have advice for you on how to get more confident — because apparently ‘you totally need to be’ in order to achieve anything in life. Phew.
It’s finding that *very* fine line between not being the woman that everyone hates because you are in LOVE WITH YOURSELF and can’t be a nice human, and yet not going for what you want in life because fear holds you back.
Yeah, I am pretty confident in most situations. I’ve talked about it a lot here on my blog over the years. I think you need some level of confidence to be able to write a blog and also put your face constantly on Instagram. And I always have been someone who went for things in life and tried to push any fears aside. But early Motherhood knocked a lot of my confidence, and I think I suffered with some anxiety during those first few years.
But a lot of my recent confidence, both personally and professionally, has really grown. Especially in the last 12 months.
I think a few things have helped:
1/ Age. Yeah that old chestnut again. But honestly, with age (I’m 40 this year) comes wisdom. With middle-age it means you’ve learnt a lot about life, people, situations, events and yourself. I think you know what makes you tick, and basically what makes you happy. You put up with far less BS and you focus on what’s important.
2/ Fitness. I know that I am ALWAYS harping on about being fit — but honestly this is so crucial to me. Toning up and feeling better about my body (post twin pregnancy) has made me feel better about clothes and my appearance. It’s a lot harder to stay fitter nowadays as everything sags more…and I only have to look at a cake and I’ve gained a few pounds…but I’ve found a good weekly workout routine and I tend to stick to it. If you’re feeling a bit ‘meh’ about yourself, and you don’t do any exercise, I strongly advise you to give it a go. It’s an instant mood booster and highly motivating for other areas of your life.
3/ I feel really empowered lately. Blogging, Instagram, Instagram Stories has helped with this. It’s given me an outlet to express myself and given me a voice. I feel completely aware of my own mind and am not afraid to be myself anymore. I love how I can chat on here about my feelings and say whatever comes into my head.
4/ Happiness. Like I said in point 1, I know what makes me happy now, and what I have to do to achieve it. And that’s Harry, Lottie and Dave, and my immediate family. They’re my main priority in life and the reason I smile. I also love my close friends and my work, (plus shopping and coffee helps too, obvs). I am materialistic but I know deep down that it all means very little and it’s the people around me that make me happy. When you do things for you (and stop people pleasing) it’s the best feeling ever.
I don’t think that I could have strolled down the streets and had my photos taken like this a few years ago either — my recent confidence has helped with this. And whilst I know I do not look like a model in these pictures, what I am doing is having a giggle, being myself and pushing my creative side. Some people like it, and many don’t. But I’m having heaps of fun right now and that’s the secret to confidence. In spades.
Love, Jess x