I’ve always been a life planner. At high school I knew that I was going to University (even though my folks were pretty hard up and it wasn’t going to be cheap) but for some reason something inside me made me determined to make it work. I decided to study business at Uni because in my head this would mean that I’d likely get a good career for myself.
In my twenties I also planned out that I wanted to be married and have babies by the time I was thirty (no idea why that age, this was just something I decided!). Part of this happened — but the babies plan took much longer than I’d wanted. When we were going through IVF for four years it was hard for me, because as a person who liked to map my life out this was suddenly out of my control. It felt scary that it wasn’t happening on my terms.
Luckily Harry and Lottie came long (at once!). But since then my desire to plan, plan, plan ahead in my life has really dwindled.
Other than planning for our next holiday or the next school-term I’m completely into living in the moment. I have no desire to move house, have any more children or make it big at work.
I’ve suddenly got no long-term plans (inserts dramatic music).
Lately, a lot of people have been asking me what my plans for blogging & influencing are; i.e. where do I see myself in the next 5-10 years? And for once I literally have NO IDEA and nor have I thought it through. For once I am happy with where my career is and I’m not chasing the next thing/idea.
Right now, having ‘work that works for me’ is ideal for where I am in my life. Being able to do a job around my twins school day is perfect for me. I therefore don’t want to think too far ahead at the moment.
Trainers / Joules (I was gifted these)
There are many messages out there these days for women about ‘being the most you can be’ and that you can achieve anything you want. We’re told that you can have a successful business, a family, beautiful house and amazing wardrobe and still be a wonderful human. And a lot of people ARE doing great things. However…not everyone is wired like that and we don’t all necessarily *need* that in our lives.
There are so many women literally kicking ass right now on all of this (I truly admire them) but for me I’m happy with my freelance business bringing me in a good income every month.
I don’t have any desire to significantly grow my blog, or double my income by this time next year, or become ‘Insta famous’, or get to the point where I have to employ anyone. Other people do it SO well and are admirable, but for some reason there’s no drive in me to do this at the moment.
That doesn’t mean that I’m not working hard right now. I am. I sit at my desk almost five days a week, produce a lot of content and I work with many brands delivering on some cool projects. Some weeks are really busy and others are a little quieter, and I love it that way. And yes of course I want my social media following to keep growing and for people to still read this blog, but I guess I’m saying that currently I’m not desperate for the big time.
Maybe it will all change — I have always told you guys that I’m ambitious, driven and that I’m a go-getter (and I always was) so maybe this is just a temporary state of mind. Perhaps when the twins get older and rely on me much less I’ll sit down and start planning for bigger and better things again then, who knows?
Or maybe I won’t? I guess time will tell.
Love, Jess x
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