After I had my boy & girl twins (back in 2012) I was somewhat prepared for some challenging things that were going to happen to me. These included my body taking a long time to recover after a twin pregnancy & major operation (c-section), as well as knowing that I’d probably feel incredibly tired and busy all the time.
However, one thing that I wasn’t prepared for was the impact that my confidence would have when I became a Mum-of-two, overnight. I had always previously been a fairly confident person at work and in my general life, but over the months that followed my babies being born my confidence took a few knocks – and it was tough to take.
At the time I didn’t see it coming but looking back I realised that a lot about me did change. I had times where I felt alone, isolated, scared, anxious and full of self-doubt (and yet becoming a Mum was something I had always been really looking forward to doing).
Right now my twins are almost 5-years old, at full-time school and I feel that I have a level of confidence back again. It’s due to a few of these things:
Fitness – I say it a lot here on my blog but being healthy & fit has a BIG impact on my well-being. It puts a spring in my step, makes me feel energised and thus helps lift my mood. As I am approaching 40 soon (eeeeeeep!) fitness is NOT easy anymore and it hurts to train! Gone are the days when I’d lose weight just running for the bus…and my problem areas seem to be multiplying *sigh*. But staying toned and healthy is a great way to feel better about your body and that has had a massive impact on my confidence levels in general.
Work – I feel incredibly happy and lucky to be able to work from home, be a blogger and work as a freelance social media manager. This kind of working set-up isn’t for everyone, but oh boy, does it suit me! It means that my work stress levels are low. I also love how flexible my day is and that I can work on projects that suit me. Happy at work = happy at home!
Style – I have had a weird & challenging relationship with clothes since I had my twins, mainly because my body shape changed. I also had a massive problem knowing what to wear every day because I had to stay practical and comfortable, which doesn’t really work well with stylish outfits. I ended up often feeling a little frumpy. It’s taken me a long time to get my style mojo back (I now absolutely love shopping for clothes!) and my confidence has been higher since I started to feel happy about my wardrobe again. This has taken me a long time though!
Sleep – This didn’t really kick in until the twins weren’t waking in the night anymore, but OMG sleeping through the night and even having lie-ins at weekend has made a huge difference to my mood. If you’ve got a newborn, or young twins, then have faith that it does get better and that you WILL feel yourself one day again soon! I promise! Sleep deprivation really affected my mood, which in turn affected my confidence. I struggled to cope with even the smallest things on bad days.
Diet – This links in to the above because when I was sleep-deprived I was desperate for ‘sugar fixes’. I used to eat a lot of biscuits, cakes etc during the day. Now, I try to avoid anything ‘bad’ and aim to eat far healthier. I guess it helps that I’m exercising now too. I still LOVE sweet frothy coffee, chocolate and take-aways but am definitely not reaching for a pack of biscuits every day anymore!
Friends – Surrounding myself with lovely friends is important to me; friends I can chat/relate to – whether these are IRL (in real life) or via social media. Having a good network of people around you helps to keep your confidence as they are also great to bounce things off/share your problems with. I am SO over the fact that I don’t need millions of friends around me anymore and that often people do come-and-go from my life. The friends I have now are all at a similar stage to me and we have things in common.
Happiness – ultimately most of these things above are contributing to my happiness and subsequently my confidence is back again. That’s not to say it won’t wane every now again (I often still have wobbles about my twins, work etc) but I feel more able to manage everything much better now.
Has your confidence been affected too since you became a Mum?
Love, Jess x