When I was pregnant with my (rather large) twin, baby-bump I obviously dreamed of the kind of Mum that I’d like to be. I hoped that I would be heaps of fun, caring and kind. Radiate love. Our babies had taken quite a few years (and tears) to conceive and so I definitely knew that they were going to be the centre of my whole world.
I think so far, 4 years in, I have been a lot of the above (mostly). Unquestionably I have strived to be the best Mum that I can be. They are both very loved and cared for and I feel good about the little people that they are becoming.
What I didn’t envisage though, pre-Motherhood, was just how hard parenting is! The tiredness being THE hardest factor. I’m not great on little sleep and I don’t think I had a decent nights sleep for at least the first 2 years. I have realised too lately that whatever my current mood is dictates the whole day for our family. I therefore try to be as upbeat as possible…even if I’m not feeling it!
I have looked to my own Mother for her guidance during my own journey so far and I am definitely like her in many ways. I watch and observe her with the twins and we are very alike in our approach. I have learnt a lot from her. She gave me a lovely childhood and so I hope that my children love me growing up as much as I love her.
I also didn’t realise how little of ‘me’ would remain after having our baby twins. I very much lost myself and my identity after entering into Motherhood, because I put them first and foremost and didn’t consider myself much at all. My appearance, hobbies and passions became unimportant and I wasn’t interested in anything I previously enjoyed doing (I was too shattered and busy to care!). It’s only been recently that I have once again been interested in a pursuing a career, fashion, beauty, interiors & creativity. I am surprised at this because I have always put myself first in most other things in my life so far.
I have also come to the conclusion that perfection just doesn’t exist in Motherhood. You cannot be the best Mother, cook, cleaner, partner, employee or friend every single day. It’s utterly impossible – because kids are unpredictable, can be stubborn and life can be SO manic! I therefore now try to take each day as it comes and if I do have a bad one (they are getting fewer these days) then I try to start the next day afresh.
As well as this, although I am quite a driven and motivated person, I am trying to make sure that Harry & Lottie don’t feel under pressure to achieve. I want them to be happy in their lives and do whatever they may love. I have definitely learnt this important life lesson myself from my recent change in career.
I have been recently working with SunLife and they have shared their interactive fun quiz online “What type of Mum are you?”, which helps Mums to recognise what characteristic of a Mum relates to them the most! I took the quiz and I got Lion Mum! See what you get!
I don’t think we genuinely know the type of Mama we’re going to be until it happens to us, and even then we’re always evolving and learning. However one thing for sure is that we’re all doing one amazing job!
Love, Jess x