Our new life is so amazing here at the moment. A lovely new house, a new area to discover and excitement still very high for our family.
And next month the twins turn three. Three-years-old. Wow. Where has the time gone?
They are funny. Laugh out loud funny – and so silly. They still find things exciting, amazing, thrilling and wonderful. Even simple things, like a walk. Or a trip to the local park.
But the tantrums and ‘diva strops’ are currently rife. And the fighting between them is truly relentless. And honestly – it’s wearing me out.
We seem to go through phases of arguments. For weeks it will be horrendous, and then it is all rosy again. And then another stage will come – and bring with it another level of arguments. We are currently in a really difficult phase of not even being able to be civil to each other at times.
A friend once said to me (about the twins arguing) that it must be so hard being in the same space as another person, all day, every day. And she was right. If I was in somebody else’s pocket from the moment I woke up until the moment I went to sleep SOME element of that person would annoy me. And boy oh boy does that apply to Harry and Lottie.
But. The problem is, that Harry and Lottie just cannot seem to play (or be) alone. They always need to be in the same corner of the room, the same square of the bouncy castle, the same cushion on the couch or next to each other at the kitchen table. And, as much as I try my best (I try SO hard) to encourage them to split up, and spend a little time apart, they always, always migrate back to each other.
“Play alone” I say. “OK Mummy” they nod, and then will end up rolling around the floor screaming and fighting again only minutes later. I will even physically split them up, and put them into separate rooms and even this does not deter them. Seeking each other out again. This part baffles me. Because why do this if the other person annoys you so much? Maybe they just cannot bear to be apart, even if it is in a negative way.
I cannot work out if this is a twin-thing, or a sibling-thing, or that they are only three-years-old. For they still really are very little. They are my first children too, and so I have nothing else to compare.
I have always been pretty good at taking them out and entertaining them. Soft play, the park, walks. And they are better when we are out. But with all the best will in the world you cannot spend every minute of the day out of the house. And the moments where we try and have down-time and ‘relaxing’ are the worst.
I think a lot of it stems from dropping their nap lately. They are still pretty tired during the day, but will not go down anymore. Because the afternoon seems the hardest time. And this behaviour is probably also that it is the summer holidays? Boredom and a lack of routine perhaps. And maybe it is partly due to the house move and this huge change that we have been through in our lives. Playing up for attention maybe?
Whatever it is – I am drinking far more latte, complaining to Hubby more, and taking MANY more deep breaths in and out. I have tried the naughty step, taking away favourite toys, and saying “Wait until your Father gets home”. Nothing appears to work.
Hubby and I have therefore this weekend just discussed trying spending more time on our own with one of them – to try to encourage a little more independence and for them to develop themselves away from each other a little more. Whilst we love the fact that they have an amazing twin-bond, we also believe that they need some time apart each week. Even if it is only a few hours. We have therefore decided to try an activity at the weekends – separately. Perhaps Harry starts football, and Lottie tries ballet. Hubby and I will swap who we attend with each week so that we get to spend time with each one regularly. If anything this will be a nice way to spend Saturday mornings, and then get back together and all discuss what we have been up to.
I have no idea if things will improve, or if it just a phase, or if it makes matters worse. Who knows?
However if anyone does have a magic wand then do please send. Or answers on a postcard please.