When does raising twins get easier?

What age do twins get easier?

When the twins were a few months old, somebody (I can’t remember who) told me that they would get ‘easier’ at around four years old. I didn’t quite know how to react to this news, and thought (at the time) that four years old felt SO far away. “It can’t be all that bad surely?” I naively thought.

Of course there have been all the amazing things about having twins – I love my precious children so much – but the fact that I have two children of exactly the same age, of course, has so far brought its issues.

But Harry & Lottie (my boy & girl twins) are now approaching four, and I am going to stick my neck out and say that recently life has become a lot easier.

Sure, tantrums are still rife, and everything still feels like a bit of mission (like leaving the house in the morning)…but life just feels less manic.

For example, I can get ready in the morning. I haven’t been able to do this without someone crying, emptying a sock drawer or needing a nappy change – for years. I used to give myself 5-10 mins to get ready and wore whatever was clean. Now I can pick an outfit, put actual make-up on and straighten my hair whilst they play in their rooms.

They are also now at preschool a few days a week. After being a Stay-at-home-Mum for the last three years, I am now working again writing blog content for various websites. The kids go to a lovely preschool (which they get for free because of their age) and we therefore have some time apart. This is amazing in itself. I can be me again/drink a cup of tea/have achievements that aren’t Mum-related. This all feels SO good.

Our weekends are also getting MUCH better. We are starting to have lazy Saturday & Sunday mornings (the iPads help) and Hubby and I are allowing each other the luxury of a lie-in whilst the other one is the ‘on-duty parent’ downstairs.

And of course there are the things that are naturally evolving, such as: they get themselves dressed (ish), they can go to the toilet on their own, they can talk to me and communicate their feelings and they can happily feed themselves…all of which helps massively towards taking the pressure of me.

And everything has an added element of fun now. They make me laugh, they’re funny and they’re great to be around. I’m slightly less of their personal full-time butler/chef/cleaner and can instead enjoy their company as they develop their own little personalities.

A friend of mine actually thought that the first twelve months of her twins lives were by far the hardest, but I didn’t. I found the trickiest part was as soon as they got out of a pushchair and demanded to walk – (and then run) – my life changed and got far harder. But now that they understand not to run into a main road I am more relaxed and enjoy going out with them.

I am also resigned to the fact that life with children will never be 100% easy, ever. No matter their age. Because there are two little people in my life who will always need me and who will go through things that will always cause me to lie awake at night in bed and worry about them (school, exams, friendships etc). It comes with the title of Mother.

But that’s OK – because sleep is for whimps anyway, right?

Love, Jess x

Jess Soothill

Jess is a Mother of twins, blogger and writer.

Find me on: Web | Twitter | Facebook


  1. May 10, 2016 / 3:03 pm

    It is a tough one isn’t it – My girls are 5 and almost 3 and I definitely feel like some aspects are easier now, they are much more fun to be with, we have lovely little chats and no more nappies are always a bonus! However I do feel each age brings its own issues – starting school was tough and I find it hard to not be fully in control if that makes sense – if she is sad or cant find anyone to play with I am not there to help. I also hear horror stories about the teenage years!!

    • Jess
      May 10, 2016 / 8:53 pm

      Ahh yes I imagine school gets tough again – the tiredness and the friends thing. I think I will also find that one tough going xx

  2. May 10, 2016 / 6:01 pm

    Spot on! I also found the first year the “easiest” but as soon as they became mobile that’s when it was super hard. The girls are 3 in a few months and whilst getting out and about is easier, they are in the midst of falling out like nobody’s business. It’s such an awesome but hard age!!

    • Jess
      May 10, 2016 / 8:54 pm

      Oh yes mine fall out a LOT but can manage themselves a bit better now! We go through days of arguments and then playing SO nicely 🙂 xx

  3. May 10, 2016 / 7:42 pm

    I completely agree. I only have one little rascal, but at 18 months he is fully mobile and life is just tricky. He doesn’t like being in his pram and demands to walk everywhere, but doesn’t understand the concept of holding hands or walking with me. I have to get ready in about 15 minutes in the mornings when my husband is at work, because that’s how long I can leave Parker with some toys in his cot for until he gets grumpy. I am in awe of him though and the amount that he is learning every day.

    I love how honest you were about the nursery situation too. Mummies do need ‘me-time’, space to be someone other than just mum. I totally agree!


    • Jess
      May 10, 2016 / 8:55 pm

      Bless him!! Great age! I used to feel guilty about craving a little me-time (even if it is work) but actually it makes me happier for it, and after 3 or so years I am now ready for a little more of a challenge outside of Motherhood xx

  4. May 11, 2016 / 8:12 am

    I absolutely loved this post Jess, it made me smile and nod in agreement lots! Although I don’t have my own children yet, I look after 18 2 – 3 year olds during the week and they are hard work! I’ve worked with all ages though and I would definitely agree that 4 year olds are a lot easier, they’re just so much more independent and are starting to sort of their own problems i.e. if someone has a toy and they want it they’re beginning to have a good grasp on sharing and taking turns.

    Gemma x
    The British Feather – Lifestyle, Travel & Home Decor

    • Jess
      May 11, 2016 / 10:21 am

      Thanks for this! I think each age/stage brings it’s own issues BUT I am finder that the older they get the more independent they are becoming, which has made my life slightly easier. I did love the baby stage though and miss those cuddles!! xx

  5. May 11, 2016 / 8:26 am

    I hear you, I could have written this post, I wanted to kill the person that told me I had to wait til they were 4 but I find myself saying it now!

    • Jess
      May 11, 2016 / 10:18 am

      Ha ha – I know me too! How wise we now are 😉 xx

  6. May 11, 2016 / 8:56 pm

    Haha, I totally get this! We had a brief spell around 14 months when I thought it was getting easier and then it all went out the window!! I can however spend a little longer getting ready now, as long as I distract them with food and I do get pockets of time to myself in the day because they play with each other. It is nice when you can really sit back and enjoy their company though rather than constantly worry about what they’re up to 🙂 xx

    • Jess
      May 11, 2016 / 9:19 pm

      Ahhhh I know – glad the boys play nicely and that you get snippets. It does help for sure xx

  7. Helen Lang
    June 10, 2016 / 2:12 pm

    So glad to hear that it does eventually get easier. My b/g twins are just approaching 6 months and I’m finding it so exhausting. Can’t help but love it though there’s something special about twins 😀💗💙!

    • Jess
      June 12, 2016 / 9:29 am

      Yes it does – different challenges for sure, but easier on the whole routine thing! Good luck hun xx

  8. September 4, 2016 / 8:38 pm

    Wow! Sailing in the same boat with 4 year to be twin boys! I totally agree with you Jess. Life gets easier as they grow older and I can see it happen too. Though I face few challenges pertaining to their age, still moving out of changing nappies, feeding and unreasonable cries and tantrums feels better. Happy twin parenting 🙂

    • Jess
      September 4, 2016 / 8:39 pm

      Thanks for the comment and glad you feel the same!! xx 🙂 Nice to meet you xx

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