When the twins were a few months old, somebody (I can’t remember who) told me that they would get ‘easier’ at around four years old. I didn’t quite know how to react to this news, and thought (at the time) that four years old felt SO far away. “It can’t be all that bad surely?” I naively thought.
Of course there have been all the amazing things about having twins – I love my precious children so much – but the fact that I have two children of exactly the same age, of course, has so far brought its issues.
But Harry & Lottie (my boy & girl twins) are now approaching four, and I am going to stick my neck out and say that recently life has become a lot easier.
Sure, tantrums are still rife, and everything still feels like a bit of mission (like leaving the house in the morning)…but life just feels less manic.
For example, I can get ready in the morning. I haven’t been able to do this without someone crying, emptying a sock drawer or needing a nappy change – for years. I used to give myself 5-10 mins to get ready and wore whatever was clean. Now I can pick an outfit, put actual make-up on and straighten my hair whilst they play in their rooms.
They are also now at preschool a few days a week. After being a Stay-at-home-Mum for the last three years, I am now working again writing blog content for various websites. The kids go to a lovely preschool (which they get for free because of their age) and we therefore have some time apart. This is amazing in itself. I can be me again/drink a cup of tea/have achievements that aren’t Mum-related. This all feels SO good.
Our weekends are also getting MUCH better. We are starting to have lazy Saturday & Sunday mornings (the iPads help) and Hubby and I are allowing each other the luxury of a lie-in whilst the other one is the ‘on-duty parent’ downstairs.
And of course there are the things that are naturally evolving, such as: they get themselves dressed (ish), they can go to the toilet on their own, they can talk to me and communicate their feelings and they can happily feed themselves…all of which helps massively towards taking the pressure of me.
And everything has an added element of fun now. They make me laugh, they’re funny and they’re great to be around. I’m slightly less of their personal full-time butler/chef/cleaner and can instead enjoy their company as they develop their own little personalities.
A friend of mine actually thought that the first twelve months of her twins lives were by far the hardest, but I didn’t. I found the trickiest part was as soon as they got out of a pushchair and demanded to walk – (and then run) – my life changed and got far harder. But now that they understand not to run into a main road I am more relaxed and enjoy going out with them.
I am also resigned to the fact that life with children will never be 100% easy, ever. No matter their age. Because there are two little people in my life who will always need me and who will go through things that will always cause me to lie awake at night in bed and worry about them (school, exams, friendships etc). It comes with the title of Mother.
But that’s OK – because sleep is for whimps anyway, right?
Love, Jess x